so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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