her vagine was all disorganized.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
