so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
