its not stalking. its research.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
