Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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