ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
