Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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