Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
