Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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