90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
