Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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