Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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