member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
