At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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