So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
