Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
