On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize