It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
