Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
false alarm, still single
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