So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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