id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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