after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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