im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
