Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize