you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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