Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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