I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
