i think my mom watched the whole time
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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