He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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