You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
