I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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