just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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