Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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