you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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