We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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