WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
