i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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