How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
