so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
