i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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