The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
