Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You are a genius and a whore.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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