My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
