No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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