From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize