you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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