I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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