She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
