nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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