North Korea, Best Korea!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
