ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
