it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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