the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
