I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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