Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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