He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
