whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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