i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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